"We're Almost Through the Month of June," Said the Sun to the Moon

Good thing she had password protection, something tells me he was carrying a virus...

What's up? Welcome to A2O. I'd like to start today with a with a little dissertation I've prepared...

"Why You Shouldn't Get Drunk and then Swim in the Ocean," a dissertation by Christian Yates

If you get really hammered, chances are, you're going to pass out. If you're just swimming along, you could pass out and drown. Or get eaten by sharks. If you're like this guy, however, and you're on a pool floaty... Well, then things get interesting. He floated a mile off shore. He very easily could've been lost forever. Or been eaten by sharks... So if you're gonna get wasted, please be responsible: Don't drink and swim.

Alright, here's an interesting video, which thoroughly proves that Apple should go fuck themselves. Apparently, if you hold the iPhone 4 the wrong way, you'll drop calls.



I hate Apple crap. Makes me mad that every MP3 player is referred to as an iPod. And the iPhone is just one useless app away from having its ass kicked by yours truly.

Now onto the shocking science fiction part of our show.

Tales From the Beyond!

Scotland has its share of oddities, such as the Loch Ness Monster and men wearing dresses, but it seems a new creature, the Horse Boy, has spawned from the dark, mysterious... um, suburb of Aberdeen?... Okay, so maybe Horse Boy isn't actually half-man, half-horse, but can you give me a reason why anyone would do this?














It's absolutely fascinating. Caught for the first time on camera by Google's Street View van.

Skeptics have said that you can see him putting on the mask when you back down the road... I don't know. Just one of life's unsolved mysteries. Although, I hope we hear more from Horse Boy in the future.

Well, that ought to wrap it up for today. Tune in tomorrow for more crazy stuff. Until then, here's the craziest thing I could find this week.



~Chrisitan

PADD: People Against Dogs Driving

In the News

Okay, I'm not against animal rights, but we have to draw the line somewhere. For example, I don't think that animals should have the right to operate a motor vehicle. Here's why: Animals cannot correctly control cars. They lack the neccessary opposible thumb, as well as the hand-eye coordination. A Florida dog, who began driving his owner's truck, ended up running his owner over. They cannot be trusted to drive. The article for that story is here.

MTV has a new show out called "Warren the Ape." It's a spin-off of FOX's "Greg the Bunny" which got cancelled a while back. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Christian, you hate MTV." True. But sometimes, there are diamonds in the rough. Take a look at this clip, you'll see why I love it.



Yea, pretty much the whole show is like that. It's just about a sex-addicted ape puppet who's trying to become a successful actor again. Quite funny, actually.

Here's a video with another fake ape. Only this one's not quite as smooth.



What I want to know is what part of his body hit the gate?... Look at the slow-motion at 0:17. His head misses the gate, then you can hear something hit it... But it looked like he was grabbing his head... I don't know, one of life's great mysteries, I suppose.

One more video, then it's adios. This video comes to us from FND Films, led by Aaron Fronk. It's all in Arabic, but don't worry: there are subtitles.



Well, that about does it. Only one thing left to do. Roll that beautiful bean footage.



It would've been better if it had been a Busch's baked beans commercial, but this video was way cooler.

~Christian

Cuz I'm Free... Free-Ballin'

I'm excited. I just found out today that my favorite superhero, Green Lantern, is getting a movie in 2011. My only thing is that Ryan Reynolds has been casted as Hal Jordan. Now, I like Ryan Reynolds. But he'd be better to play GL if they were making a Kyle Rayner movie. I don't know. I'm pretty sure I'll love it all the same. They haven't released a trailer yet, but I found a fan-made trailer on YouTube. Normally, I don't like fan-made stuff, but this absolutely blew me away.



If you didn't know better, you'd think it was the real thing.

You know I'm almost considering moving this blog to a weekly thing, and just having like, longer posts. One-a-day is much harder than you'd think... Anyway!

The Onion. A source of smiles and laughter for years. The Onion Sports Network has recently released a report about soccer officially announcing that it's gay. It's about time soccer came out of the closet.



I'm proud of soccer. It's not easy to admit something like that.

In the News

Okay, so I've heard of restaurants selling some pretty cazy menu items. But I think this one is my all-time favorite. A restaurant in Arizona is serving lion burgers. Real African lion meat. But the crazy thing is that people are protesting. They've been getting hate mail and even a bomb threat. God, I guess people just can't handle change... Seriously though, a bomb treat? Aren't environmentalists supposed to be peaceful people?... Anyway, the full article is here.

So, for a long time, I've heard that Utah is crazy. This solidifies it. A woman led police on a chase through two suburbs, after stealing two cars (one of which was a police cruiser). Naked. The whole time, butt-naked. And no, she wasn't high or drunk. She's just psychotic. She ran through sage brush naked. I think even a stoner would think twice about that. You can read that story here.

Thank God for mass media and msnbc.com and whatnot, right? Bringing us news we actually care about; news of the strange kind. So, that about does it for today. Hope you all had fun. I know I did. Stay cool, world. Stay cool.



~Christan

Holy Rusted Metal, Batman!

Amanda Bynes is retiring from acting. She's 24. Apparently, she just doesn't love it anymore, and feels it's pointless to do something you don't love. Good point. But what's really freakin' weird is the fact that she's made enough money already that she's able to retire. It's ridiculous. The article is here.

What's up? Happy Monday. I'm gonna start with a relatively old video (which for some reason I never put up here...) Don't let your mind take you where you think the song's going.



Yea, it's pretty hysterical.

Here's another pretty hardcore song: It's Maynard James Keenan (of Tool and A Perfect Circle) covering Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" at E3 2010! Could it be anymore awesome?!



Told you. That's about as much awesome you can put into 6 minutes.

By the way, I'm really excited about the iPhone 4. It's gonna be sweet, look at this commercial.



Yea, it's a spoof. You think I'd actually be excited abut an iPhone? Oh, gullible public, when will you learn?

Well, I'm thinking that'll wrap things up. More to come tomorrow. Over and out.

~Christian

Mary Had a Metal Lamb

I've decided to start collecting comics (I know, I sort of missed the bandwagon...) I don't care if they're not that popular anymore. Those who know me know that I don't exactly like whatever's popular. Not to say that I hate popular things. Anyway, as I was researching various comics, to see what the market for them looks like, I came across this: A Flash comic from 1959, the second issue to feature the Mirror Master, in excellent condition. The only problem is that it's 150 fucking dollars. I don't care about it that much... Especially when I can get the same damn issue for 99 cents, in slightly less prestine condition. People are crazy.

So today was Father's Day. I hope everybody wished their father a happy Father's Day, maybe go their dad a card, took him out to eat, something. Happy Father's Day to any fathers who are reading this blog.

Okay, now let's watch some videos, starting with this one, featuring dancing boobs!



... You didn't think the boobs were going to be naked, did you? When have I ever shown nudity on this blog?... Oh yea, like a week ago... Oh well.

This next video is classic in the sense that videos of stupid people getting hurt are always classic.



It's pretty wild. I thought the shark was dead until he bit the guy's finger... Wild. And stupid of the guy. The moral: Never put your hands in a shark's mouth, even if you think it's dead.

So, I heard about this yard sale. I don't know if anyone else has heard of Highway 127 or not, but in the first weekend of August, they have the world's longest yard sale: 675 miles... From the tip of Michigan all the way down to Alabama... And I want to go so bad. I'm hoping to find like, vinyl records and comics and stuff, but you can find pretty much anything there (from what I hear). I've heard that some places in like Tennessee and such will have whole pastures full of shit. Antiques and furniture and all kinds of weird stuff you've never seen before. To say the least, I'm pretty excited.

When was the last time taxes saved your life? For most of us, probably never, but for Earl Phillips, a phone call Saturday about his taxes saved his life. He was talking to the rep when he began having a heart attack (because she probably told him how much he was gonna have to pay). The stupid thing Earl here did was that he didn't want to tell the rep that he needed help. But she noticed he was having trouble breathing, so she sent the paramedics to his address. Good girl. Anyway, you can read that article here.

And I'm out. See you guys tomorrow. The video I'm using to play us out, by the way, was created by my brother. It's a metal version of Mary Had a Little Lamb. He played and recorded it himself, and also put together the slideshow for it. The only problem is, I can't just put the video here for some reason. So here's a link. Fuckin' Facebook.

~Christian

Wakka Wakka Wakka

Today was my last day in Georgia. I head back north tomorrow... at freakin' 6 AM... But you're not here to listen to me whine about my life. No, you're here to listen to me whine about other shit! So let's get started.

In the News

It's people like the guy in this story that make me hang me head in shame. Brandon Farmer, a 24-year-old moron from Ohio, got drunk and his buddies dared him to jump onto the back of a tractor-trailer... The semi then starts moving and the guy has o hold on for dear life. He calls 911, who eventually pull the truck over an ge the man off the back. Ufortunately, they weren't able to do anything about his stupidity... The full article is here.

Here's a pretty cool video. It's a techno style DJ... thing... I don't know what to call it. Someone took sound bytes from the original Toy Story and made this weird dance song.



See, pretty cool. Kinda catchy.

This next one is one of my new favorite videos of ever. It's all stop-motion, and it's awesome. The creator said it took over two weeks to do all of it.



Sweet right? Suck it, Tim Burton... Okay, maybe it's not Corpse Bride or Wallace and Grommit, but still. It's cool.

Alright, I'm done. Here's something cool to end on. See you next time.



~Christian

Toy Story 3 Was...

I just got back from watching Toy Story 3, and it was arguably the best Disney/Pixar movie, and quite possibly the best movie in the trilogy. The animation was flawless, it had action, suspense, a hint of romance. Don't spread it around, but it almost made me cry. Easily the best movie of 2010 (thus far). This is a really short review, I know, but it's because I can't accurately describe how awesome it was and because I have absolutely nothing bad to say about it. It was clever, funny, action-packed, and more intense than Die Hard. And you know how much I love Die Hard... I love Die Hard... Anyway, Toy Story 3: A++, 10/10, 5 stars, two thumbs up. It's worth whatever you have to pay to see it.

Okay, so I guess the Lakers won the NBA finals... I don't know when, I don't follow sports. What I do follow is crazy news. When you start a fucking riot because your favorite NBA team lost, you should be euthanized...



That's fucking ridiculous. They set a damn car on fire... Unbelievable.

... There's nothing to say about this next video except "What the hell?"...



Biggest mustache ever...

Alright, that's all I've got energy for today. I'll be back tomorrow.