Clifty Falls = Freakin' Sweet

So, yesterday we drove out to Indiana to a place called Clifty Falls, which is I guess a national park. I wasn't thrilled, but my aunt won't be with us much longer, so I figured I needed to go. It was awesome. We stayed in a really nice hotel in the park. And my whole family stayed up in the common area until almost 1 AM playing Trivial Pursuits and Apples to Apples. It was one of the most fun trips I've ever been on. If you ever have the opportunity, go to Clifty Falls. And sit on the back porch at night, trust me. It's great.

Yesterday's post was cut short because I thought I'd have enough time to type it before we left, but as it turns out, not so much. And tonight I'm kinda tired, so don't expect a lot out of this one either.

Alright, so obviously, there are only so many good new YouTube videos out there before you have to resort to classics. The Muppets are classic.

Ahaha, I love it! Beaker is one of the best Muppets.

Okay, it seems that South Africa is having a lot of trouble with gangs nowadays. But these aren't your run-of-the-mill troublemakers, no. These are much, much worse. Gangs of baboons. No kidding. I guess they get into people's cars and mess with their stuff. It's kind of funny.

Alright, that's it tonight. Sorry. But look on the bright side, I don't have class tomorrow, so I have all afternoon to scour the internet for the best material... or play Fallout 3... hmmm... See ya!

~Christian

Fuck Black Friday

Let me tell you a story. Yesterday, I decided to go to Best Buy for Black Friday because Mike (my brother) told me they had "Fallout 3: Game of the Year Edition" for $20. My mom gave me twenty bucks (cuz it's going to be my birthday present) and I woke up at 4:00. Mike came too. We got there at 4:45, and there were already about 3-or-400 people in line. We decided to get out of the car (in the cold and drizzling rain) and wait in line. Good thing we did: by the time the store finally opened, there were a good 150 people behind us. We found the game easily, but there was a problem. It was 40 bucks. Fuck. I ran back to my car and drove back home. I caught mom before she had left for work. She gave me another $20. I drove back. I waited in the goddamn line for an hour and a half. I got to the cashier, and he says "Okay, that'll be $60." I almost punched him in the face. I was livid. The only money I had was forty bucks. So I went back home and then at 9, I went to the bank to take out $20 from my savings. They said that I couldn't take out any money without my mother's approval, because I'm technically still a minor for the next two weeks. Fuck. I didn't have my cell. I drove back home. I got my cell, I called my mom, she talked to the teller, I got my money, I drove to Best Buy, picked up the game (which they still had plenty of freaking copies of) and waited in a line for five minutes. I should have waited five hours. I could've saved my self so much trouble. Worst day ever. Fuck Black Friday.

Okay, that was a long-ass rant... Here's a video. Paramore's new single, "Brick by Boring Brick."

Great song.

Now, I have to leave for Indiana. Family trip. Clifty Falls. Adios!

~Christian

Happy Turkey Day!

Everybody get enough to eat today? I did. It was hardcore. Turkey, mashed potatoes, cheesy veggie casserole, the works. Plus some pecan pie and banana pudding. Anyone going shopping tomorrow? I'm going to Best Buy to pick up the Game-of-the-Year Edition of Fallout 3. It's like 20 bucks. That's a steal compared to the normal $60. So I'm leaving at like 4:30 in the freaking morning to get it. Fun.

This is funny. Billy Crystal and Robert DeNiro work well together.


This video also kind of makes me laugh. Happy Thanksgiving.

Damn cat, always eating the pie...

So, for Thanksgiving, be thankful for another music download! Woo! Today, 10 Years' "Division." This is their latest studio effort and one of their best. The guitar work on this is phenomenal and the atmosphere was perfect. From the slower songs like "So Long, Goodbye" to the harder ones like "Just Can't Win" and "Actions & Motives," it deserves a listen.

And that's all today, gotta get some shut-eye for the shopping tomorrow. God, I sound like such a chick. See ya!

~Christian

3 Sad Cows

Alright, I didn't update on Sunday or yesterday and I'm sorry, but here's what's going on. First quarter of college is done. And I'm ready for a little break from classes. Thanksgiving is right around the corner (make sure you buy a turkey for that special someone). Also, I just finished watching "12 Angry Men." The old black & white one from '57. It's great, go watch it. But if you're lazy, here's the whole movie in 60 seconds (it's funnier if you've seen it...)

"Who are you?" "I'm Henry Fonda." (walks away) Makes me happy.

Here's another one that's pretty funny.

Haha, that's not "12 Angry Men," that's "3 Sad Cows." A real poignant tearjerker. I love it.

Doesn't seem to be much happening in the news, unless you wanna read about how Paula Deen got smacked in the face with a ham. It's kind of amusing.

Anyway, that'll do, pig. That'll do. Bye.

~Christian

... Where Can I Buy One?

Alright, maybe I'm not a big fan of technology taking over our lives, but this is the coolest phone ever. I don't understand it, but it's cool.

Told you. The identity tagging is maybe a little on the unsure side (it would revolutionize the stalking industry, though), but other than that, it's cool.

So, the next time you say someone scared you to death, remember that it's actually possible. Larry Whitfield has been sentenced to life in prison for scaring a 79-year-old woman to death by kidnapping her. Yea. It's weird.

This one I heard about this morning on Fox News. A woman lost her long-term sick leave benefits because of her Facebook. She's got pictures of herself on the beach and stuff, but her doctor advised her to take a vacation because she was depressed. So now she's suing.

Okay, here's a video I absolutely love. These are things that are like a one in a million chance.

One of my favorites is at 24 seconds. That's just incredible.

That's it for now. See ya!

~Christian

Just Like That

So, I'm currently working on a new song (and just finished one). Both are pretty cool. In other news, our kitten died today. Got stuck under a chair. Mom cried. Hard. Call me heartless, but I just went on with what I was doing. But I'm boring you...

I'd like to share with you my latest piece. Let me know what you think.

"Flawed"

My biggest flaws are all that I can see
Like great weights, they're crushing me
My time is spent trying to cover up the hole
I'm not even sure who's in control

Why do I stand just to get knocked down again?
I try to focus but my vision starts to spin

How can I lead myself back home?
I don't feel I've learned anything, I don't think I've grown
The though of losing you makes my skin crawl
You tell me that it's alright, but I still feel flawed

My heart sometimes get lost along its path
And I have to deal with the aftermath
My only hope is I'll be able to deal
But it's not enough, these wounds won't heal

Why do I stand just to get knocked down again?
I try to focus but my vision starts to spin

How can I lead myself back home?
I don't feel I've learned anything, I don't think I've grown
The though of losing you makes my skin crawl
You tell me that it's alright, but I still feel flawed

And it seems like these walls are closing in on me
And I think someone should catch me before I hit the ground
There's nothing I want more than to erase these mistakes
And break through these walls, to no longer feel flawed

How can I lead myself back home?
I don't feel I've learned anything, I don't think I've grown
The though of losing you makes my skin crawl
You tell me that it's alright, but I still feel flawed

Alright, here's an interesting article for you: Scientists are figuring out how to grow meat in labs, without animals. Now this is kind of cool for a couple of reasons: First, this would end animal rights movements (I'm so fucking sick of hearing about how animals are people too...). Plus, now we can use all that land for something else, like (here's a crazy thought) creating low-income housing developments or anything else that helps our standard of living improve... That would be nice. But they say that things could get out of hand, potentially being able to recreate any kind of meat... including human, if they wanted too.

By the way, if you're a doctor, and you have a fat patient, don't tell her she's fat. Cuz you could get your license taken away, like this guy.

I need to find a video for this thing... but apparently there aren't any good ones today... so fuck it. See you tomorrow.

~Christian

What is This World Coming To?

Foxnews.com is my homepage. So when I opened my internet browser, I saw this headline "Killer Homework?: Cop Says Teen Killed Girl , 9, 'To Know What It Felt Like'." Honestly, that's just fucking sick. You gotta be seriously fucked up in the head to decide to go over to your neighbor's house, strangle their daughter, cut her throat, and stab her. That's... that's just fucking horrible.

Alright, let's change the subject. Here's why you shouldn't A) invite slutty chicks to your wedding, B) serve them alcohol, and C) have a single (rather colorful) pole that holds up your tent...

Yea, we're gonna mark this under "epic fail," lady.

Hey, has anyone heard Puddle of Mudd's new single? It sucks. They're doing such a horrible job these days, I'm surprised they're even receiving radio play. Speaking of garbage, my girlfriend told me to watch Lady GaGa's new video for "Bad Romance." The song blows, but the video's trippy as hell. And in a good way, not like Beyonce's freaking "Video Phone" shit. She was nasty-looking in that video (which is weird as hell for Beyonce...).

Ever sit around your house, just texting on your iPhone and wonder... What would happen if I put this iPhone in my microwave? Well, your question has been answered by these guys...

Yea, so I guess it's not a good idea to microwave an iPhone... Who would've guessed?

That about wraps it up for today. So until next time, here's Ninja Cat. Goodnight, everybody.


~Christian

There's More to Living Than Being Alive

Okay, this is gonna be a short one, cuz I still need to do dishes and then go to bed.

Here's a little story about why not just anyone can be a ninja. This guy attempted to leap over a fence, but was then impaled on it... He's fine, but you can't recover from stupid...

Okay, we haven't done this in a while: music downloading! Woo! I'm an enabler! Alright, today I have for you Alice in Chains' "MTV Unplugged" disc. It's absolutely fantastic. So many of their songs translate so well to acoustic, and this CD proves it. I can't think of any downside to this album. If you like hangover music, why not wake up drunk with this?

Alright, here's a video. It's actually a commercial from American Express, but I love the music in it. I believe this is the prelude to Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major. And I love it.


And with that, I bid you adieu. I'll see you again tomorrow.

~Christian

I Might Start Drinking, Actually...

So tonight was cool. I got to drive solo for the first time. I know what you're thinking: But Christian, you're almost 18. Why can't you drive? I waited a long damn time, that's why. And for a while I had no insurance. But tonight, I got to drive Chelsea home. So it's pretty hardcore.

Anyway, stuff for your viewing pleasure. This is kind of an old video, but it remains funny. And effective at selling its product. Even I considered buying it.

I love the score for this commercial. So much depth and emotion to it...

So a guy walks into a store with $600 (I know this sounds like a set-up to a joke, but this actually happened). He then steals a mechanical pencil and gets arrested for it. Why? Cuz he's a goddamn idiot. That's why.

Okay, so last Saturday, Taylor Swift hosted SNL. And she did this musical monologue that rocks my socks off. It's actually better than most of the junk I've heard by her. Cracks me up, just watch it. By the way, you have to skip to 50 seconds to ignore the subscribe ad. Sorry about the quality.

The part about writing about douche bags who break up with her is my favorite. Oh, Taylor. You amuse me. "Hey Joe, I'm doin' fine."

That's all tonight. Tune in tomorrow for more shit to make you laugh.

~Christian

Post #62

Happy Sunday. Spent my day playing Mahjong. Best damn game ever... other than Pyramids... or Seven Minutes in Heaven (wink wink). Anyway, I love it, so you should play it too. Play it here.

Here's a great video. I don't know if this is just funny or kind of hot...

My favorite is either the ponytail yank or the tripping.

Short day today. That's it. See ya!

~Christian

It's Like Pulling Teeth

My goddamn internet, I swear to God... It took me like 20 minutes to load this freakin' page. But anyway, I'm here. That's the important thing. Let's start with the news today, just because I wanna mix it up.

Okay, I really wish this had happened two weeks ago, on Halloween. Three homeless guys in Moscow were arrested. Why? Because the butchered a 25-year-old man, ate part of his body, then sold the rest to a kebab stand... You can't make this shit up, folks. That's one of the oddest stories I've come across...

This one cracks me up: In 1959, a guy checked some books out from his high school library. 50 years later, they were returned. Yea. He sent the books to the school along with a $1,000 money order to pay for the fines. I'm telling you, you can't make this up.

This video makes me piss. Watch it and love it.

I see a #1 single here. Charlie could be HUGE! I can't even tell you how much I love that video.

I also found this video, which I found kind of cool, but only parts of it, cuz other parts are boring. Roomba Pac Man. Yep.

Yea, there's some boring science parts, but still, these guys are freaking playing Pac Man with Roombas! Anyway, the moral of the story is Roombas are cool and Pac Man makes them even cooler.

Alright, that's all for today. See you tomorrow for more videos, news, and, other random shit.

~Christian

Shoe Dragons Are the Best Kind of Dragon

Everybody knows that. Oh, wait. You don't know what the hell a shoe dragon is? Well, you're stupid, because it's pretty self-explanatory.
















Tori Thompson drew that on her shoe. Hence why it's called a "shoe dragon." Pretty hardcore.

Just when you thought anyone could do the Risky Business scene in their underwear (has everyone seen the Band Hero Taylor Swift commercial?) this goes and happens.

God, I wish I could freeze frame and instant replay for you, but I wonder what was going through her mind by the time her body was at a 45 degree angle. Probably something along the lines of "Oh fuckin' shit! I can't believe I let Amber talk me into this shit." God, I could watch that over and over again.

And now, a word from our sponsors: Hey! Are you horny? Run out of cell phone minutes? You can still call 911! Ask the dispatcher for sex! Take it from our satisfied customer, Joshua Basso. Oh wait, he was arrested... Guess you can't ask him...

Only in Texas... Okay, so this woman claimed she had cancer and held a benefit for her chemotherapy. She raised $10,000. What's the problem? She doesn't have cancer. She spent the money on breast implants so she could "save her seven-month marriage." Sigh. Let's break this down, shall we? She's only been married to this guy seven months, and the marriage is apparently falling apart. I don't think her boobs are the problem. Second of all, why does she think that bigger boobs will save her marriage? Maybe the problem is that she's a conniving, scheming bitch. Third of all, aren't there more efficient ways of saving a marriage, that don't require you stealing thousands of dollars from your friends, family, and neighbors? God, people are fucking nuts.

I'd like to leave you with a list of my favorite phobias. Why? Cuz it's my damn blog and I'll do what I want... So anyway, here we go. These are actual, legitimate, textbook phobias.
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. The fear of long words. No shit.
Ithyphallophobia. The fear of an erect penis... I won't comment.
Arachibutyrophobia. The fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
Barophobia. The fear of gravity. Now, how does that work, are they scared all the damn time?...
Phobophobia. The fear of having a phobia... Alright.
Hellenologophobia. The fear of Greek words, which is funny because phobias are all greek roots.
Pronophobia. The fear of prostitutes. I don't see how anyone could fear them. Maybe they fear contracting diseases from them...

And that's it for today, hope you had fun. See ya next time.

~Christian

Lynch Me If You Like...

God, I haven't posted in forever... My computer has been screwing up (or so my dad says), so he took it to get fixed. It seems to be working much better, actually. So, let me update you. TSO was incredible. Words cannot describe how amazing it was. On Tuesday, I saw 500 Days of Summer. It was pretty sweet, for a chick flik. Today was a good day, too. I have an A in Stats, I read more of my book, I'm doing well in Japanese, AND I had some pizza with Mountain Dew. Hell yea, good day.

But enough about my boring life. You want some videos and shit, right?

I watched that the other day in Government. No, we don't do any work in that class...

So, this video makes me smile... Cuz I like watching drunk people fall down... And there's an added twist: a subway train!

Aw, almost. Just kidding. People being run over by trains isn't funny. Unless that person is Kanye West. Cuz he's a fool.

By the way, does anyone think that MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube fuck up your computer? Cuz my dad seems to think that they're all crawling with viruses and the second you load the page, your computer is infested with them. I don't know, I've been on YouTube on all kinds of computers and none of them seem to crash... Oh well, fuck it. Here's the news.

A guy is let off on robbery charges thanks to his Facebook. Yep. So, if you're ever charged with a crime, but you swear to God you didn't do it, tell the cops to check your MySpace or Facebook or something. See, they're not just for viruses, they can help you get out of jail!

Haha, it's really pissing my little brother off that I won't get off the damn computer so he can play RuneScape. So, I think this is it for today. I promise to update again tomorrow. Au revoir.

~Christian

Videos of Things I Did Today And Other Fun Minutia

Yesterday was busy. Wake up, go to school. From school I went directly to Sinclair to see a poetry reading by two poets who were, in my humble opinion, incredibly talented. Jon Sands was one of them. If you've never seen him, check this out. The first one's... pretty dirty... but they're all incredible.

There's so much power to it. It's incredible. The other poet was Adam Falkner. He's a little different from Jon. His poems have a certain je ne sais quoi (perhaps, more bitter-sounding...). Anyway, here's my favorite poem by him. It's called "Passing."

I got to talk to these guys after their reading, too. They're pretty cool. I always like meeting people that write, like when I met the singer for Riverboat Gamblers. It gives me a chance to meet people who do what I enjoy: writing and then performing for people what I've written. And people who write enjoy feedback from their audience, so it's a win/win.

After the reading, I went home and cleaned, then went to band practice (we sound fucking great, guys), then I went skating then went back to Chelsea's and watched Treasure Planet. But I fell asleep. So, now I have no money and I'm a little worn out and my feet hurt. A good night.

Today, however, I will be going to a Trans Siberian Orchestra concert... fo' free. I haven't been to one concert that I paid for. It makes me happy. So, I hope everyone knows who TSO is. I'm sure you'll know this video.

... Awesome. Just incredible. I wonder how long that took him? I mean, you can't just sit down in one afternoon and program 125,000 lights to flash on every note the orchestra plays... What a nerd. But a cool nerd.

Alright, so you know when I posted that story that said that reviewing pot shops was "the best job ever?" Well, I found one better. A police informant was given money, by the police, four times to pay for sex in a massage parlor. And then $180 for his troubles... Best... job... ever. But the cops are in trouble for it because what they did was absolutely ridiculous.

Ever been really late to something with no way to get there, but you really needed to be there? Why not steal a car? That's what this guy did. See, he was really late to his arraignment on auto theft charges. That's right. He stole a car to drive to the courthouse in order to face auto theft charges... There's just... I don't even know how to respond to the ludicrous level of imbecility this man obviously has. God, that was like poetry, you see that? I rock.

That's it for today, I have to leave, like right now. To go to Kyle's to go to TSO! Woo! See ya!

~Christian

Computer Problems

So, I haven't posted in a few days. Sorry. Both the computers we own have become all sucky and fucky. But this one's all better now (and actually, it seems to be running faster... so win!) But anyway, let's start with a rant.

Rant #34 – This is My Girlfriend. She Lives 600 Miles Away. I Met Her On MySpace

But never in person. But she says she loves me. We’ve been dating for a week. She’s going to drive here when she gets her license… Sigh. I don’t know who I’m more ashamed of: the poor guy, who’s an idiot, or the girl 600 miles away who’s laughing her ass off with her friends. Okay, so first of all, a month into any relationship, let alone a week, the word love should not even come up unless used in a sentence like this: “Oh yea, I love Chinese food!” Second of all, your girlfriend is 600 fucking miles away. And it’s not like you were dating for a while and then she moved. You met her while you’re in Ohio and she’s in Texas or South Carolina or some obscure country in Eastern Europe that has a name you can’t even pronounce. And you know that the girl’s just fucking with them because it’s always a really hot girl and the guy looks like he lost a fight with genetics. This only supports my theory that teenage girls are all “fake people.” Oh, and by the way, she’s not going to drive out to meet you. Ever. She’s going to send you a message saying she doesn’t love you, then say it was her friend, then you’ll get pissed and the two of you will “break up.” But you’ll want her back so you keep sending her messages on MySpace until you finally give up and become depressed for the rest of high school. Good luck with that!

That one was, when I wrote it July, dedicated to this guy who only ever dated people who lived at least 500 miles away. He finally has a girlfriend in the same city going to the same school. Seems much happier. This isn't rocket science, people.

Alright, this video is hard to the fucking core... ish. I think it's kind of cool, anyway.

They glow under blue light. It's awesome. Plus, I think the music is nice to chill to.

So, I live in a semi-rural area. I've driven down some roads and seen deer crossing the road (once with a driving instructor who freaked out and slammed on his brake... freakin' Phil...) Anyway, the moral of the story is that this is ridiculous. A circus elephant crosses the road (sounds like the start to a chicken joke...) and an SUV almost hits it. Good stuff.

Holy shit! I found a leaked scene from Saw VII (yes, they're making a Saw fucking VII, I'm not happy about it, but what can you do?... Oh by the way, it's gonna be in fucking 3-D, how lame is that? Why does Hollywood do this shit to us, man? I mean, first they make six Saw movies, and now they're gonna make one in 3D? What, so the blood jumps at you? Or the chainsaw looks like it's right at your neck... But I digress). Anyway, this is totally an actual scene from the upcoming seventh installment of the most overdone franchise since The Land Before Time, and not a video made by someone in their mom's basement. Enjoy.

Haha, yea, that was totally done in his mom's basement...

Okay, I guess that's it for today. I wanted to put up a download, but "it puts viruses on the computer." I guess so could blogging, but I have a policy about that: Fuck it. Good night!

~Christian

Needs More Cowbell

I saw this video this morning on Fox News. Christopher Walken reading Lady GaGa's "Pokerface."

Oh oh ooh ah oh ee oh... Freakin' epic.

We started playing the virtual stock market today in Government... I should never do it with real money, cuz I'm down right now.

You know, sometimes, it's difficult to find videos that aren't made by douchebags... So I think that's it for videos today. But here's some news. a Woman called 911 to report herself being drunk and driving. Claims she "didn't want to hurt anybody." Smart drunk. If only more people got smart when they're stupid...

I was going to put up a rant, but my computer is a piece of shit. So instead, I'm cutting this one short. That's all for today. Tomorrow I'll definately have a rant and a download.

~Christian