Twas the Night Before New Year's

So tonight marks the end of 2009. What a year it's been, right? Let's run through some highlights, shall we? Well, there was Kanye bashing Taylor, Chris Brown bashed (literally, this time) Rihanna, District 9, Alice in Chain's first studio album in 14 years, that senator that yelled at President Obama, DJ Hero, Transformers 2... It's just been a damn good year. Here's a video that I think is absolutely phenomenal. This song is a remix of 25 of the year's biggest pop songs including Black Eyed Peas, Taylor Swift, Kings of Leon, and Lady GaGa.

Honestly, I don't like most of the songs used, but collectively, they make a great song.

Here's another video. You know those numbers you see on bathroom walls that say "for a good time, call this number"? Ever call one?

Best ending to any video ever.

Okay, I want everyone to go out and try to beat this record: A woman gets pulled over in South Dakota. She's drunk. But here's the kicker: her blood alcohol content was .708... that's nine times the legal limit. That's a record. So, tonight is New Year's Eve. I want everyone to get shit-faced, plastered, hammered, horizontal, and whatever other synonyms for drunk you can think of and then record your blood alcohol. Alright, not really. If people did that, I'd get in trouble, so this is the disclaimer, saying it was only a joke... but seriously, the idea is already there and I can't stop you... :D

~Christian

Ten Days Later...

... Um, hi. So, I've been kind of neglectful. Really neglectful. I haven't been updating. But starting the first of the year, I'll try to get on and put something up every day. Here's a video of some marshmallows being brutally massacred.

It's always Steve that goes first...

This next video isn't so much funny as it is cute and/or romantic. I also really like the song (it's "Yellow" by Coldplay).

That's for Chels, if she ever reads this post. She showed me the video.

Alright, this story is from Christmas day in Missouri. Do you have one of those friends that's kind of hard to shop for? Well, there is one gift that trumps all others, and this guy decided to give this gift which keeps on giving. Officers found in this guy's car 20 pounds of gift-wrapped marijuana. A merry fucking Christmas indeed.

I know it's not much, after having been gone for ten days with no good explanation... but there you go. See you tomorrow!

~Christian

Ain't No Postin' When He's Gone...

I know I haven't posted in a couple days. Oh well. I might stop this altogether soon. Don't know yet. Anyway, some videos.

This has gotta be one the most useless things I've ever seen: The Necky. It's like a Snuggie... for your neck... What's next? Headie for your head! Handsie, for your hands! Dicky for your... well, you get the picture.

Yup.

I'm gonna finish tonight with a download. Here's Trivium's 2005 release "Ascendancy." I think this was their most articulate album to date, and a sort of balance between the different aspects of their music. It wasn't strictly heavy metal like "Ember" was, and not as shitty as "The Crusade" was. Enjoy.

Long Weekend

I didn't update over the weekend cuz I had too much going on. Two parties in two days, band practice, blah blah blah. Anyway, I'm here now, and we're gearing up for the Christmas season (fuck "holiday season").

Here's a video of a bum playing Radiohead's "Creep."

He rocked that song, man. Seriously.

In other news, the Australian government is encouraging pandas to reproduce... Yea, apparently there is some kind of "shoots of bamboo welfare plan" or something. The more cubs you have, the more bamboo the government will pay out... Alright, so maybe that's not exactly how it works, but seriously? Here's the article.

December 10...

Yesterday was my birthday. Chels got me this sweet notebook that's covered with like vinyl or something. I don't know, but anyway, it's sweet. So I decided to start a journal in it. write what's going on in my life, sketch, jot down song ideas. whatever pops up. So if you're reading this, Chels, I love it. But you're probably not reading this...

So, let me just throw up a couple videos and we'll get this show on the road. This video is one I saw on Tosh.0 once. It's like... hardcore, or something...

Yea, there isn't a word for it, you know?

Okay, here's another video that's just kind of... I don't know. It's been circulating for a little while, and has probably already started to go viral. The WoW freak-out kid, ladies and gentlemen.

Remote... up the ass... and how did he get his clothes off?... But on the plus side, he'd make it big as a grindcore vocalist...

Here's something that'll get you some street cred in prison: Three guys are sitting in the prison cafeteria. First guy: "I killed three people. What're you two in for?" Second guy: "I went on a car theft spree. Stole twenty cars before they busted me." Third guy: "I pissed on a cop..." Here's the thing: the guy really did piss on a freakin' cop. It was his fifth (count 'em, five times!) drunk driving arrest. The cop put him in the cruiser and the guy pisses all over the back seat and sprays the officer in the back of the head. He got piss on his head! When I read the article, I thought it would be on his boots or something. But no, on his freakin' head. He's serving one year, he was fined $3600, and he's had his license revoked. Yea, that ought to teach him. You can read the article here.

And that's all folks! I'll try and put more up tomorrow.

~Christian

Guess What Tomorrow Is

Tomorrow is my mother fuckin' birthday. And it's gonna be sweet. Cuz I get money. So today, I dressed up like an elf and delivered Christmas presents to the elderly at a nursing home. And also found out that my former place of employment has since firing me hired a new guy. Fuck 'em. I hope the place burns to the ground.

Anyway. I found this video earlier. I think it's funny.

Yea. It's alright. I need to cut this one pretty short, so I think I'll just put a link to a great CD.

This album is one of my favorites: Trapt's self-titled disc. Listen to it yourself. It's great. *Quiet snicker*

And until tomorrow, that shall be all. Hope you liked the download... Hahaha!

"C" is for [Insert Genitalia Reference Here]

Hey! This is probably gonna be a shorter one tonight, cuz I didn't get any sleep last night (literally) and I slept all day today and blah blah blah... anyway, I'm tired. But I'll throw in some cool stuff.

Here's Skillet's video for "Monster." I'm pretty pumped for their new album.

I love the part with the real low growl.

This video is from a month or two ago from College Humor. It's great.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

They put out some good stuff. "I feel like we all have really good aim until the second we put these helmets on." Ha! Classic.

Hahaha, this made me smile. Go to Google and type "tiger woods is " into the search bar. You get some cool results. For those of you too lazy to to it your damn selves, here's a picture.

And I'm out. Did anyone watch the Moochie series? Do it, the first episode is on yesterday's post. The rest are on YouTube. They're great. Me and Kyle watched all 6 twice yesterday. You'll laugh, you'll cry. Trust me. Adios.

~Christian

Talking Hamsters Rock

So I was on X-Gen Studios and I saw an ad for a YouTube show called Moochie. It's a 6-part series about a hamster that talks. It's awesome. Here's the first episode.

Me and Kyle love it.

"God! Dad snores so loud I could kill him!" Ever said something like that before? Ever actually attack someone for it? This kid did. Allegedly.

Here's another story that may prove there is *gasp* humanity left in the world! I didn't think it was possible, but a prison accidentally freed the wrong prisoner, Ahmed Ismail, instead of Ismail Awad. And the guy turned himself in. Feel good stoy of the year right there.

Alright, now something to play us out.

Goodnight.

~Christian

Tonight, I Am Going to Wash the Hippy

So, I've been writing more (lyrics) lately. I'm proud of the way they're turning out. I'm getting better at this stuff. Now I need to get better at piano so I can write my piano screamo song... Trust me, it'll work.

Here's a video that might bring a little fun to your day. Do the Sex Offender Shuffle, everybody!

Telly cracks me up. "It was an extortion plot by my wife!" Yea, okay, pervert. And I'm the last son of Krypton.

Before you watch this video, I wanna say something: First, plastic surgery is the worst idea ever. You should only ever have plastic surgery if you're a burn victim or you stepped on a landmine or something. You should NOT have plastic surgery because you want a firmer butt, fewer wrinkles, or a less flabby tummy. That's just called getting old. It happens to the best of us. And nobody wants to look like Joan Rivers when they're a hundred and twelve like she is. Second, models are fucking stupid. I can't stand them. Women look at them like blueprints and they have to fit into said blueprint. Models are morons. Don't believe me? Look where this model's need to be "beautiful" seems to have failed her just a bit.

See my point? It's kind of funny to me, in an incredibly bitter sense.

So here's an awkward situation: you want to donate something to charity for Christmas, so you find an old vase and give it to Goodwill. You feel good about yourself. But later, you're looking for your weed and can't find it. That's when you realize that your $1,500 worth of pot was, ironically, in that pot. Dammit! That actually happened this week in southeast Ohio of all places. You can read about it here.

That's all tonight. See you tomorrow!

~Christian

8 Days and Counting

My birthday is on the 9th. Everybody should get me something... Like money... or a stripper... or both...

When I got home this evening, my brother was watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Anyone ever notice how the models all look nasty in their own way? Some are waaaaaaay too skinny, and others have like the cheekbones of a chicken. It's ridiculous. Why do girls strive to be like these models when all my brother and I did the whole time watching was pick apart all their flaws?...

Alright, so Jackie showed me this site today that made me piss my pants. It's called People of Walmart. Basically, people follow around the weird-ass mofos that shop at Walmart and take pictures for the rest of us to laugh at. It's great, check it out.

Ever think about changing your name? Well, if you do, be smart about it. I'm tired of hearing of jackasses like Chad Johnson... Oh, excuse me. Chad Ochocinco. Fucker. This woman decided she'd change her name from Dorothy Lola Killingworth (which is kind of a brutal last name) to, no fuckin' shit, Jesus Christ. But I guess she's not living up to the name, because it says here she was excused from jury duty because she was a pain in the ass. But that's just a paraphrasing. I think those people should be forced more so to attend jury duty. She was only being a douche to get out of it...

This is a great video from the guys at How It Should Have Ended. It's their vision for Twilight.

Check out my bazillion ab muscles. Hahaha. Love it.

Alright, that's it for now. But fear not, for there will always be more to enjoy in the limitless world of the interweb.

~Christian