Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tonight, I Am Going to Wash the Hippy

So, I've been writing more (lyrics) lately. I'm proud of the way they're turning out. I'm getting better at this stuff. Now I need to get better at piano so I can write my piano screamo song... Trust me, it'll work.

Here's a video that might bring a little fun to your day. Do the Sex Offender Shuffle, everybody!

Telly cracks me up. "It was an extortion plot by my wife!" Yea, okay, pervert. And I'm the last son of Krypton.

Before you watch this video, I wanna say something: First, plastic surgery is the worst idea ever. You should only ever have plastic surgery if you're a burn victim or you stepped on a landmine or something. You should NOT have plastic surgery because you want a firmer butt, fewer wrinkles, or a less flabby tummy. That's just called getting old. It happens to the best of us. And nobody wants to look like Joan Rivers when they're a hundred and twelve like she is. Second, models are fucking stupid. I can't stand them. Women look at them like blueprints and they have to fit into said blueprint. Models are morons. Don't believe me? Look where this model's need to be "beautiful" seems to have failed her just a bit.

See my point? It's kind of funny to me, in an incredibly bitter sense.

So here's an awkward situation: you want to donate something to charity for Christmas, so you find an old vase and give it to Goodwill. You feel good about yourself. But later, you're looking for your weed and can't find it. That's when you realize that your $1,500 worth of pot was, ironically, in that pot. Dammit! That actually happened this week in southeast Ohio of all places. You can read about it here.

That's all tonight. See you tomorrow!

~Christian

No comments:

Post a Comment

Like it? Hate it? Let me know.