Kids, Go Buy Great Britain's Porn!

So, should we skip the intro today? Yea, I thought so. Here's a video.

I love that one. Cracks me up. It also gives me a good idea of a prank I'm going to pull on unsuspecting future roommates.

Anyone familiar with the online game Evony? If you clicked the link, don't be fooled: It's far from the "best free web game..." But anyway, I'd like to talk about it... in today's rant.

Rant #47 – She’s Hot (Even Though She Doesn’t Exist)
Okay, I was on a web page downloading music and at the top of the page was an ad for some online RPG. I guess they were trying to sell their game with a picture of a female warrior with a low-cut top and big boobs. I guess it was a character from the game, because she was animated. Don’t get me wrong, she looked real. The rendering was awesome. Some of the coolest graphics I’ve seen. But she still wasn’t real. A friend of mine was with me and he points to her, looks at me and no shit, he says “Dibs.” I face palmed. “She’s not even real,” I said. And this was his answer, seriously, one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard in my life: “Who cares? She’s hot.” I face palmed again. It’s sad. What’s worse is the fact that there are web sites that are dedicated to shit like that. And I mean, if you’ve ever played a Final Fantasy game, you’ve noticed that every female character seems to be scantily clad (even if you’re high in the mountains in a foot of snow). I don’t find it offensive, just pathetic that some forty-year-old guy was like “And this character’s name will be Lulu,” as he draws a pair of 36 Triple E’s.

More shit, more shit... Anybody ever play Assassin's Creed? Great game, horrible way to end. But here's the good news.


Looks incredible, doesn't it?


Some news! So, we all know the British are crazy right? Okay, well as it turns out, their government fucked up 25 years ago, and for the next three months, retailers are legally allwoed to sell porn to kids. It's pretty funny. Don't worry, you can laugh.

Alright, that's plenty for today. I'm gonna go listen to the iBand. Adios!

~Christian

Benny Benito: Lounge Singer Extraordinaire!

I was lucky enough to see Benny Benito's first performance in almost three years last night! His voice is incredible, and he is hysterical. I actually caught him after the show and got a picture with him.














Yea, it was a pretty good time.

God, I hate updating over the weekend. But you don't wanna hear me bitch, you want some videos, right? How about music videos?...




Aren't those the shit? I think they're pretty sweet. Alright, how about some news (which is a pretty funny story, I might add). It's ridiculous, isn't it. I don't know which is more ridiculous: the fact that he came back, or the fact that he came back and the cops still didn't catch him... *sigh*

Hey, check this out! The world's first iBand. It's three people with iPods and whatnot. Playing music. It's pretty sweet. Here's a video of their jam session.



And with that, I think I'm done for today. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, everybody. Peace.

~Christian

Title of Post

Some cool new stuff today. First of all, I uploaded my story to DeviantArt. Check it out. It's pretty explicit (violence, language, sexual content), so don't let the kiddies read it.

Video, anyone?


Yes, this is a real product. Yes, they probably knew exactly what they were doing...

Here's another video.



Alright, I'm bored. That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more shit...

~Christian

Michael Jackson: Pop Star, Father... Homicide Victim?

So, I logged on today without any news, and I was like "Fuck it, they don't need news today." But then I found something on my dashboard. It's from one of Rolling Stone's Rock&Roll Daily blog: Michael Jakson's Death Offically Ruled Homicide. What the hell? Just when we thought it was safe to make pop music again... *sigh* I think it's just post-humous publicity, but I'm not a medical examier, so I can't really say anything.

This video is really short, but it's priceless. I saw this about a month ago on Attack of the Show.

Tennis shoes: $50
Video camera: $320
Running into a stationary object: Priceless

Here, have another video.


Shit, what else can I cram in here?... I want to put up a story I wrote for Creative Writing in my junior year, but it's really long (like 6 pages on Word). I'll probably put it on DeviantArt, then give a link to it. Cuz I love that story.

I wanted to post a picture of my Camaro, but it won't let me. Oh well, I'll try to put it up again tomorrow. Toodles.

~Christian

Penguins Can Fly, or How I Learned There's No Such Thing as Reality

I know what you're thinking, and yes. The title of this post is a terrible attempt at a Bullwinkle reference. Anyway, I've got some cool new stuff lined up today. First, a video that changed my life. Okay, it didn't. But I laughed.


It's all 100% real...

Moving on. Something that actually did change my life. I'm sure you've all heard of Demetri Martin, the comedian. Well, I knew he's pretty funny, so I decided to watch his 2004 show "If I." I was amazed. In those 50 minutes, I realized how incredibly deep and philosophical he really is. Click the link, it's worth your time.

But now, back to comedy.

Yea, that's good stuff.

Now I'd like to introduce you to the rant portion of our program. *Theme music**Audience cheers*

Rant #89 – Look Me Up On Twitter
Or don’t. Because I’m never going to use it. I was going to start a Twitter for my band, thinking it was similar to MySpace or Facebook. I set it all up and went to my page to start blogging or something. What I saw was a single box with a submit button. I’m like “What the fuck?” Really, I just type what I’m doing and hit enter. Maybe that would be helpful if I was Hugh Hefner. “Yes, right now I’m doing Miss February.” Come on, at least there could’ve been a blogspot on it. Bottom line, normal people can’t use Twitter. Famous people can, even if they’re not doing anything. “Oh, I wonder what Paris Hilton is doing right now?” Looks up Paris Hilton. “Oh, my God! She’s on her couch eating bonbons! That’s what I’m doing! I’m like Paris Hilton!” Twitter sucks.

TTFN. I'll be back tomorrow. Peace, love, rock n roll.

~Christian

I Think You're an Angel, Lzzy

Anyone ever heard of Halestorm? Well, you should, cuz they're awesome. Lzzy Hale is one of the greatest female vocalists I've ever heard. She kind of reminds me of Joan Jett. Now, my suggestion is to buy it, but I know a lot of you are like "Yea, fuck that." But you'll have to find a download link on your own, cuz all the ones I found were broken.

In other news, I saw District 9 last night with Chels (that's my girlfriend, for anyone who didn't know). Anyway, District 9 is probably one of the greatest movies I've ever seen. It's also one of the most original. I'm sick of movies based on books and video games and remakes and sequels and all this uncreative shit. This is based on an original script by Neill Blomkamp. District 9 is shot partially in documentary style and partially in standard drama style. This was a great concept. It flowed brilliantly. The acting (from a pretty much unkown cast) was top notch. The effects were great, the music was great. Go watch this fucking movie. Seriously. There are so many emotions, to the point where you forget this isn't actually happening and that some characters are from another planet. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about it.


On a minor note, 2012 looks like it's gonna suck. Everyone should boycott it.

Okay, more stuff. About a week ago, I found this really funny story online last week. How do you not realize that the guy in the casket isn't your husband/brother/cousin/whatever?

And here's a pretty cool video. It makes me laugh.

They really did get arrested, but when they explained themselves to the cops, the cops laughed and let them off with a $10 fine.

And that's it for today. Gotta go restock my inventory of awesomeness. Be back tomorrow. Peace, love, and rock.

~Christian

Our Amps Go to 11

Yesterday, I decided that my blogs need to contain more stuff. So there's gonna be more stuff.

First of all, the title deals with music (specifically, it's a quote from "This is Spinal Tap"), so here's some music news. Linkin Park is releasing a new CD, and I'm totally gonna buy it. Which I rarely do. Mike Shinoda says it's so different, they're going to have to come up with a new genre for it. Sounds fucking awesome, Mike. Post-hardcore band Alesana is also planning to release a CD (another I'll probably buy). It's going to focus on one story this time, dealing with the turn of cntury. Other than that,we don't know anything about it. STP also has plans for a new album (Yep, Scott Weiland is back with them, and no, he hasn't died of a heroin overdose yet. He's actually clean!)

Alright, non-related stuff. This news story will make you say "WTF?" This just happened yesterday or the day before...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Like I said. "WTF?" I also found a story about a plant that can eat rats. Couldn't find a good video, though, so Google it.

By the way, did you know you can put your face on an M&M? It's freakin' sweet.

What do you think, one more video? This is one of the most clever things I've ever seen. It's from College Humor.

Told you it was good.

That's it for now. Quit whining, there was a lot of good stuff in here. I'll be back tomorrow, same time, same place.

~Christian

Updating Over the Weekend is Hard

It's easier to post when I'm stuck at home during the week for a few hours waiting to either work or hang out with my girlfriend. But oh well, I managed. And I've got some new stuff today that's pretty cool.

Anyone ever heard of a guy named Zac Sunderland? He's a 17-year-old just recently got back from a little trip. Around the world. In a boat. Alone. He's got a blog if you want to read it.

I also want to post this news story. It happened about two months ago, but that doesn't change the hilarity of it. If you're low on cash, but you want to get laid, look for this prostitute. She'll sleep with you for, apparently, a bag of Cheetos... Read the story.

This entry needs a video. Oh look, here's one!

Makes me smile. No dogs were harmed.

I think I'm gonna stop for now. But rest assured, more shall follow. Tomorrow, in fact. So stay tuned.

~Christian

Richard Cracks Me Up

First of all, there is a new DS game coming out called Scribblenauts. It looks incredible. You write a word and it comes into the game. Tens of thousands of different objects and animals and shit. I'm buying it.


Today, I was watching Whose Line on Youtube. Anyone know this clip?

I love it.

You know what else I love? Money. It's like... awesome. It's about the only benfit to having a job. I'm working next to nothing and still making $60 a week. After taxes. Well, I'm tired. And I've got to get up early tomorrow for school. Last year, can't wait to be done with it. Stay tuned, I'll post again tomorrow.

~Christian

If At First You Don't Succeed, You Fail

I was checking out some sites recently and found a list of failures in terrorism. I must say, #4 is my favorite. So I started thinking: What else fails? The obvious answers would be a paraplegic on the swings, or a penguin in a tuxedo. Here's a pic I found on Facebook.








If that ain't a fail, I don't know what is.

Moving on, let me tell you a little about my band. We're very unorganized. And lazy. Personally, I think we need to get more serious, but the first step there would be to find a drummer... Anyway, me and Zane (lead guitar) got together today. He had written a riff and I had the perfect lyrics to go with it. So within an hour, we had a rough sketch of a new song. It stills has a few kinks, but oh well. So we have a new punk-esque song. Then I went to work. Which was uneventful, and then to my girlfriend's house. Also uneventful. I might also mention that her family is moving to Georgia. Which is approximately 512 miles away. Fun. But hopefully everything will work out (and I mean everything, including Hinder being hit by an asteroid).

I'm out of stuff to talk about, so I'll post again tomorrow with some more randomness. TTFN.

~Christian

If You Come Anywhere Near My Stereo, I'll Shoot You

I found out today that Limp fucking Bizkit is releasing a new album. You know, it's been eight years since they even played a show. Things were looking up. Now, I enjoy some LB. "Results May Vary" showed a lot of creativity and potential. But when they released "Unquestionable Truth" two years later, I was pretty sure they threw it all out the window. They played a show in Latvia on May 20, saying they're more bored with "the state of heavy popular music than [they] were with each other." Damn. They're back.

But enough about rap-metal. I found this video of a bigfoot sighting, and thought at least someone out there might be interested.



You know what I miss? Sleeping in. I only have classes for three hours, they shouldn't even make me go at all... C'est la vie. Well, that's it. So, in case I don't see ya: Good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

~Christian

The First Entry

Okay, I guess I'll just use this to introduce myself and let you kow what I'm going to be doing in this blog. First off, my name is Christian. I'm a senior in high school and starting Sept. 9, I'll also be a college student. There's this program that some schools do called PSEO, where I can go to college for free while I'm in high school, so I was like "Hell yea, I'll do that!" Anyway, this blog is going to be used for whatever purpose I see fit: talking about music (and I'll try to put up links so you can download), movies, politics (by the way, you ever notice how politics is like the Latin word "poly" meaning many, and ticks, which are blood-sucking creatures?...), and I'm sure I'll rant about everything. You're also gonna hear about my band, whether you want to or not. I'll probably throw out some random thoughts every once in a while. Speaking of which, can you get cornered in a round room? My psychology teacher seemed to think so, but I wanna hear your thoughts. I think that's it for now, cuz I have to be at work soon. So, until next time, may the Force be with you and may all your wildest dreams come true. Unless your dream is of me in a mini skirt, in which case, fuck off.

~Christian